Newsflash: Women wear clothes

Here are some news for you: Women wear clothes. Or, more specifically, women who aren’t proportioned to go on a catwalk also wear clothes. You wouldn’t believe it when looking at the available sizes, but it’s true!

When I shop for clothes, I have three main problems to deal with.

One is that I am fat. I am in no way huge, unable to leave the house on my own, or anything severe like that. Not at all. But I am big enough to be relegated to the “plus-size” section, where all the boring clothes come to die. Shopping online will give me greater choice in styles, but the models showing the clothes are all catwalk-sized. The clothes may look stunning on that model, but it tells me nothing about how they would look on someone like me.

Second is that I have huge breasts. Not large. Huge. And in spite of western culture worshipping large breasts, women’s clothes are rarely made to fit them. Usually I have to resort to men’s sizes to have room for my chest. Even the largest size of the t-shirt offered by Busty Girl Comics is ten inches too small around the chest. Irony level: Off the scale.

Third is that I’m short. I’m about the average height for women across the world (according to somewhat questionable internet sources), but nearly 8 centimeters shorter than my national average (according to less questionable internet sources). A 72cm inseam is about right for me. Most women’s trousers sold around here start at 80cm and go up. I’m quite normally proportioned, so somehow I doubt that all that extra average height exists exclusively in women’s legs.

Combine these three factors, and things get even more ridiculous. Fat women are never short, so wider sizes are always longer. Short women never have large breasts, so shorter clothes always have narrow chests. Really? Apparently the makers of these clothes think we all came out of the same mold, just sized slight up or down.

Move on to sports wear, and the ridiculousness is turned up to 11. You would think that people of all shapes and sizes exercise, right? With the rampant fat-shaming in western culture you would perhaps expect fat people especially to exercise? That’s not what the makers of sports wear thinks. Sports wear for women rarely run larger than XL, and let’s be honest, we’re talking about a small XL here. Just how ridiculous is sports wear sizing? So ridiculous an olympic athlete can’t find clothes that fit. When a professional can’t get suitable clothes, someone is doing something wrong.

Okay. Rant over. I’m off to pick up some clothes I’ve ordered online. Hopefully they’ll fit well and I won’t have to spend a small fortune returning them and having new sizes mailed to me…

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